Peering through the window at the perfect angle where I decided to position myself to start the day, I see the golden sunlight, slowly but surely nudging the morning like restless children. A kaleidoscope of colors ready to burst out and play without a single care in the world. "La Dolce Far Niente," it sums up this moment perfectly, the sweetness of doing nothing, I smiled and exhaled, letting the warmth envelop me. I thought to myself, just a few more seconds.
Forward Motion by Daya has been my soundtrack for the past few weeks, needless to say, it catches on with my two almost teenagers in the house. We will burst out singing and dancing just to let out some built-up tensions. I would be the lead singer, of course, sharing the limelight with my daughter, and my son would be the I-am-too-cool but important silent band member every time. By now, we have a long list of soundtracks depending on how the day progresses.
For one that loves a structured day like me, you would have predicted that I failed to adapt and extinct spectacularly like dinosaurs. Sometimes the cycles of self-talks between doubt, required actions, small victories congratulatory, uncertainties, and the overwhelming sense of quietness of mind laid me still. These feelings would eventually pass.
The structure dissipates as you adapt with contempt and replace it with goals. I learn to listen and attune to my mental rhythms. Learning is more than just about books and assignments for my children. Relationships are tested as boundaries are subject to negotiations and straddled between the state line. Last but not least, any routine established can be dismantled when the necessity arises. Simple enough, and now I have the road map, little did I anticipate the execution part needed a little finesse on my end.
As a result, I have learned along the way you can slow down without compromising productivity. Conversations can happen most naturally when you need human connections, without pretense and utmost empathy. Even long after you have forgotten about it, childhood passion can still surprise you when reignited. A good book and a cup of coffee will always give me the emotional and psychological satisfaction.
As the blinding sun sets and finally gives in to the temptation of the soothing evening, I sigh and reluctantly bid my farewell too. I must have stood up and sat back more than a dozen times to clear my daily goals. My thoughts went back to Julia Roberts, maybe tomorrow "La Dolce Far Niente" is possible. For now, I must keep my forward motion, must keep my center grounded. Even in solitude, we are all indeed together.
Ciao bella et messieurs!
Norlena Albert C.J
